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These last few months have been some of the hardest and most difficult months of my life. My mom went home to Glory, and I had not seen her for almost ten years. Even in death, the limitations of my body kept us apart. Satan has attacked us on every side. He has attacked our cars, our health, and our finances. He has even attacked the tools that we use to get the job done. A few weeks ago, one of our older kitchen stoves exploded when my granddaughter Megan opened the oven to check on supper. The force of the explosion and resulting fire destroyed the stove sitting next to it as well. By God´s grace and mercy, Megan was not injured beyond a bit of burned hair and a very sore and bruised shoulder. The tires on Herbert´s pickup were destroyed, my car´s transmission is on it´s last leg, Queno´s car needed repaired and the starter went out on the old Montero. All this has happened while we are in our busiest time of the year.
In the middle of all the chaos that is part of my daily life, I realized that an entire class of seventh graders was failing almost all of their classes. There were only two students who had a clean grade card in the entire class. I began to call the kids in one by one to figure out what was going on. Long story short, two “brilliant,” or “not so brilliant” students had decided to start a new bullying game. Each dare had a number, and if you refused to play then you were to be ostracized by the rest of the class. The dares went from simply not doing your homework, to turning a test in blank, to talking back to the teacher and to the most drastic, picking a fight with a ninth grader. The worst threat was if any one of them dared to tell Miss Lori anything then the rest would shun them and force everyone else to shun them. For the last two months I had noticed that one of the girls in this class was withdrawing more and more into herself. Yet every time I would try to talk to her, I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. She drew deeper and deeper into herself. Finally, the most recent time that I talked to her, the dam broke and the hurt flooded out. Earlier in the year the boys had drawn cartoons of her face and made fun of her cheeks. She came crying to my office for help. I did what I always do, and roundly scolded the boys and told them that I would not tolerate them making fun of anyone. Honestly, I don´t remember what punishment I dealt out that day, but it was enough to make them furious. They informed the rest of the class, and even other students, that they were to shun this young girl. If anyone dared to talk to her, then that person would be the new target of the collective wrath of the entire class. Even the girls were afraid, so the poor child was cut off. Not only had her friends and classmates abandoned her, but during the last few months, her mom had started working in Guatemala City, coming home only occasionally on Sunday afternoons. Of course when her mother was home, she didn´t have time to realize that her daughter was drying up on the inside. As the tears flowed down her face, unchecked and sobbing, she confessed to me that she had thought several times about ending everything. There was so much pain, so much hurt.
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“There was so much pain, so much hurt.”
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In the middle of all the chaos that is part of my daily life, I realized that an entire class of seventh graders was failing almost all of their classes. There were only two students who had a clean grade card in the entire class. I began to call the kids in one by one to figure out what was going on. Long story short, two “brilliant,” or “not so brilliant” students had decided to start a new bullying game. Each dare had a number, and if you refused to play then you were to be ostracized by the rest of the class. The dares went from simply not doing your homework, to turning a test in blank, to talking back to the teacher and to the most drastic, picking a fight with a ninth grader. The worst threat was if any one of them dared to tell Miss Lori anything then the rest would shun them and force everyone else to shun them. For the last two months I had noticed that one of the girls in this class was withdrawing more and more into herself. Yet every time I would try to talk to her, I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. She drew deeper and deeper into herself. Finally, the most recent time that I talked to her, the dam broke and the hurt flooded out.
Earlier in the year the boys had drawn cartoons of her face and made fun of her cheeks. She came crying to my office for help. I did what I always do, and roundly scolded the boys and told them that I would not tolerate them making fun of anyone. Honestly, I don´t remember what punishment I dealt out that day, but it was enough to make them furious. They informed the rest of the class, and even other students, that they were to shun this young girl. If anyone dared to talk to her, then that person would be the new target of the collective wrath of the entire class. Even the girls were afraid, so the poor child was cut off. Not only had her friends and classmates abandoned her, but during the last few months, her mom had started working in Guatemala City, coming home only occasionally on Sunday afternoons. Of course when her mother was home, she didn’t have time to realize that her daughter was drying up on the inside. As the tears flowed down her face, unchecked and sobbing, she confessed to me that she had thought several times about ending everything. There was so much pain, so much hurt.
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“This Love is not for cowards“
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I informed the students that during the mid term break week I would be available for private conferences at home. I told them that it didn’t matter what they had done, the only thing that I WOULD NOT accept were lies. As long as they told me the truth we would figure out how to fix whatever was wrong. It was as if I had lanced an abscess. The repressed hurt and anger flowed over and out all week long. As the days went by I realized that I had to make a hard, hard decision. The instigator was an older student who had flunked the year before. He is an orphan being raised by his grandmother. My heart broke for the child, but he had left me with no choice. I could not risk the well being of other students. The kids were terrified of him and what he could do. He had very unsavory friends, and his threats seemed very real. I hate it, but there are times when I have to make a choice. Love can be hard, and at times, even cruel.
As I battled my heart, a Scripture in I Corinthians came to mind. “Hand this man over to Satan so that the sinful nature be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.” I knew it was going to hurt, but hopefully being expelled from Morning Glory would be the wake up call that this kid needed. And hopefully, it would be enough for his grandmother to realize that he needs more than a meal and clean clothes. I literally felt like my heart would break into pieces and push out of my chest as I watched him sob in remorse and beg for forgiveness. I explained what 1 John says about forgiveness and cleansing. I explained that he had been forgiven even before, but that actions have consequences and love demands that I require him to face the consequences of his decisions. This hurt is not one that I can kiss and make it better, and I cannot make it go away. He made bad decisions, and hurt many people. We asked a trusted volunteer to follow up and keep up with the student, but for now it was time to face up to the results. When he left my office broken and hurt, my tears flowed and I sobbed in sadness. “This Love is not for cowards.”
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Some of the teachers at Morning Glory
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“God has faithfully supplied our needs, yet…”
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For the last several years, Morning Glory has experienced phenomenal growth and expansion, yet the donations and gifts from the United States have not kept up with expenses. I have tried everything I know how to do. I work a second job, organizing and cooking for the Casas por Cristo groups and if I am really careful there is a bit of budget money left over after I pay all the bills to pour into the school. I have asked the parents to share a bigger load of the expenses (about a 40% increase in their payments) and have put into practice policies that ensure that everyone is paying their fair share, and no one falls through the cracks. I have cut every extra expenditure that I can and have repaired old and used furniture and equipment over and over again. I have researched and put into practice more economical ways of doing things and reduced costs to a bare minimum. Yet it never seems to be enough. The devaluation of the dollar has hit me hard. Basically I receive Q20,000 less each month for the same amount of dollars. That adds up to eight teacher salaries. Prices have not reduced to reflect this devaluation. I have squeezed and pinched until I can´t squeeze any more. I have basically cut out almost everything except salaries. I don´t know where to ask, for my supporters have given and given. Those who believe in Morning Glory have shared abundantly above and beyond. God has faithfully supplied our needs, yet the shortfalls remain and the budget stays unbalanced.
So the time has come for tough decisions. As of 2018, I will cut all non-essential teachers and programs. We will cut back to the basics until our expenditures match our average monthly income. We will revamp our donation program and ask individuals and groups to fully or partially fund the extracurricular activities and programs that so many like to see. In order to downsize the staff, I will have to have a sizeable amount of money to pay severance for the laid off employees. I may have to borrow, but I will make this happen. This is not an easy decision, nor is it one I take lightly. However, I really do not see any other way out, barring a miracle from heaven.
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To close, I quote an article I published last year:
“I invite you to share with me in this adventure of love: Love that constrains, love that impels, love that rejoices and love that sometimes hurts. Your heart may break so much that you think you will not survive, but you will fly on the wings of brown-eyed angels who love with abandonment, sincerely and honestly. There is nothing sweeter than the hug of a child, nothing purer than their tears of joy, and nothing more sublime than their voices lifted in worship of the Eternal King of Kings. Truly, THIS LOVE IS FOR CONQUERORS.”
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| Rob will be traveling in October and November of 2017. To schedule a meeting or other opportunity to share about Morning Glory, email Rob! |
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Praises! We thank God for 13 incredible interns this year. They have served Morning Glory better than we could have ever imagined. We praise Him for the exciting conversations and future plans forming on the horizon. We are looking forward to meeting with new and old contacts at the end of the year!
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Prayers! Pray for our interns and the Martin family as they readjust to coming back to the U.S.. Pray for guidance for Lori as she begins to plan and make changes for 2018. Pray for the student leadership as they look for ways to lift up and edify their peers. Finally, pray for a many meetings for Rob as he travels in September to recruit and fund raise.
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